WWWOOOOOOOHHOOOOOOOOOO

John brought home his report card today....

Put your hands in the air..
and swing em like you just don't care....
all A's and B's ....

Emm-hmm. It's MY birthday...

COME ON YA'LL...IT'LL BE FUN!!! I know ya'll want to ride the roller coaster with me!!

JUMP ON!! JUST DON'T LOOK DOWN!!!

WWWWWWWWWWWWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!

Thursday's Love is....

Love is ...

A baby brother to chat with and give orders to, till he's had all he can take and shoves you down.

A big sister to lean on and laugh with till, she gets too bossy and you have to shove her down.

Visit Karen at Chookooloonks to add your link and check out other contributions...

Grains of Gratitude

As we sat on the couch Friday evening I said to Charlie, "Oh! I've got to start the dishwasher! Help me remember this week that the house doesn't get clean by magic!"

I'm pretty spoiled. I get one kind of relief when Mom's here and then another when Charlie gets home. It's like being halfway on vacation all the time. When she's here, we get up in the morning and I feed the kids, get them dressed, make their lunches, gather their papers, and make sure they get to school on time (or not) and by the time I get them all out the door, I go upstairs to find that my Mom has...

*made all the beds
*gathered all the kids dirty clothes
*started a load of laundry
*put up the dishes out of the washer
*and usually has started vaccuuming

I'm usually the one who cooks dinner, but while I get the kids ready for bed she puts up leftovers, cleans the table and does the dishes. During any given week, I cook and herd kids, she does everything else. I'm not averse to helping in the household chore department, it's just that she's so fast. I sometimes have to result to going out and mowing the yard because it's the one chore she hasn't gotten to first. I lost out on the yard last week, as she slipped my neighbor's yardman some cash to do it first.

Charlie gets here and I immediately start yawning. Not that I find him uninteresting, quite the opposite, but my tired mind instinctively knows it's okay to sleep now. He won out in the motorcycle department and we went to the track Saturday morning. We took a break and went to Melee's baseball game, where he scored a homerun off of a strike-out. I'm really not sure how that happens, but I'm told it's perfectly legal. Then back to the track to drop off Charlie and the boys, but the boys ended up pooping out and came home with me. When Charlie got home and saw the chicken nuggets I had in the oven, he got out the lettuce and fixed us a Chicken Nugget and bacon bit salad. Then he put the Littles in the tub. This week is gonna be WAY too short! The housework can be a drudgery but the Littles can be emotionally draining. Then he suggested he could take Peach and Ace to California when he goes at the beginning of November, and I said "Are you trying to KILL me?" Three weeks without Him, Peach AND ACE? In a perfect world it's the stuff day dreams are made of. In the real world I have to start considering Al Qaeda and Bird Flu. Plus the Bigs would have a COW! Well, November is a long way away and I've got a LOT of things to be grateful for today!

How 'bout you? Tell mum2brady at Brady's Bunch.

Rest and Relaxation

Just thought I'd let ya'll know that Charlie's home and I think we're gon zzzzzzzzzzz
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Flexing My Freedom (to gritch)

To help Annie at yerdoingitwrong celebrate her hundredth post today, (CONGRATULATIONS!) I thought I'd play along with the horoscope game, as we both seem to be in the same kid of mood. Seems that Scorpio and Pisces must have something in common today.

Pisces:
What you have wanted is finally coming -- you just have to make sure to wait for it.

Overview:The stars say you should act now, or this little spate of boredom could become a regularly scheduled part of your programming. Expand your horizons so you don't feel stifled by your day-to-day routine. Find ways to flex your freedom.

Yes, I'm waiting on Charlie, who's on his way home tomorrow evening and I'm on my last leg. I told him Krull was going to want him to go riding motorcycles on Saturday, but he's going to have to figure out how to fit four of us on it, because Peach, Ace and I are gonna be on him like gorilla glue. Every night for the last week as I try to extricate myself from their room we have the following routine...

"Night-night, love you guys, sleep tight."
"But Momma? Momma....um why do I have that picture on the wall."
"Because Nanna gave it to you. Night-night, get some rest."
"But Momma? Momma? Um ... um ... why is the sun down?"
"Because it's tired. No peeps now. Night-night."
"WAIT! BUT MOMMA!" Bursts into tears, "I miss my Daddy!" sob sob...
Zachary: sniffle* sniffle* "Me too."

The stall techniques are always different but the end result stays the same. It's all about Daddy.

And as for my "little spate of boredom"..

Monday was Truth or Consequences with John's teachers where I wrote them to see how far behind he was. Scheduled him to go in early on Wednesday for "Interactive Notebook" help. Played hookey from BoyScouts. Baseball practice was a rainout.

Tuesday was dueling Dr.'s appointments for Peach and Ace. She had to get four shots. I usually take their hands and kind of gently lay over them, like you would when you give them a bedtime kiss, that a) blocks the view of what's going on and b) keeps them from jumping up and bolting for the door. By the time the nurse was on the second set of shots, Peach was purple and screaming at the top of her lungs, "GET OFF ME!! GET OFF ME!!" Then Ace had to have one shot. Both were supposed to pee in a cup, only Peach could be talked in to that circus trick. And then they both had to have a finger stick for cholesterol screening. Both are in the 90th percentile for height and the 95th percentile for weight. (As have been all my kids, despite the fact that we don't drink juice and we're currently down to 1% milk.) Then dropped John off for Orchestra lesson and had to have my brother pick him up as I had a Faith Formation meeting. I've signed up to be a Parakeet (better known as a paraclete or teachers helper) for eighth grade on Sunday nights.

Wednesday Mom and I trolled some New Model Homes as she tries to convince herself that she wants to move down here. She does want to come, just not on her budget. We went through this sub-division she keeps eyeing, but we think the neighbors don't seem to be doing a good job keeping up their yards and landscaping. As we turned the corner Mom said "Oh LOOK! SILK FLOWERS IN THE FLOWER BED! SHAZAM!" Okay, that made me laugh. Picked up Peach from school, had a nap and then found out John has six papers outstanding in the "Interactive Notebook". Melee' had a baseball game at 8:00. We wrap up at the batting cages and we head over to the ballpark when my brother calls, stranded in a restaurant parking lot when his truck won't start. So I leave Melee' at the gate with his team and turn around and head back in the direction of home. Get Krull and his posse dropped off and zoom back to the game. Game wraps up at 9:40. Because the adults agreed that it was too late in the evening, we did not have snacks and drinks after the game, which in turn sent Melee' into tears. "Well, I played so much baseball, I'm hungry again!" So I stop at Wendy's, cause I'm a soft touch, easily done in by crocodile tears. By the time we get home, get him showered and both of us in bed, it's 11:00.

And here it is Thursday, is it Thursday already? I wake up with a headache, Melee' wakes up on the verge of tears because he's tired. Ace wakes up whiny, Peach wakes up talking, and I can't get John to wake up at all. To top it off, I have MS. NO, no no, not multiple sclerosis, just PMS without the P. So I'm walking around all week long with this nasty attitude that I KNOW is so ugly and unattractive but still, I can't quit glaring at people. I'm dutifully taking my high-blood pressure medicine. I've upped my caffeine intake, I've added chocolate, two Extra Strength Tylenol and in a desperate attempt to make my headache go away, I stopped into Starbucks and ordered "UM...a grand-ay mocha frappachino light thingy." I'm probably going in the wrong direction with my headache remedy. But tomorrow, I'm hoping to expand my horizons so I won't feel stifled by my day-to-day routine...

Wish me good luck with that...

Cheap Shit Ain't Cool and Cool Shit Ain't Cheap

THAT...is my brother's motto in life....

....THIS... is his new Yamaha 450

This is the conversation we had when he brought it over for me to see...

"Yeah Dude, it's really loud! It's not like those motorcycles that go wheeng, wheeeng, wheeeng, wheeng! It's more like BLAPT, BLAAPT, BLAAPT!!"

"Yeah, Charlie's is more wheeeng, wheeeng wheeeng!"

"Yeah, mines a REALLY loud BLAAPT, BLAAPT, BLAAPT! My neighbor's are gonna hate me."

"Shoot!"

"Yeah, shoot!"

Melee' is Ten

Well in typical middle child style, Melee's birthday was overlooked again. Not to say that I forgot his birthday...just that it was hard to work in.
He was born ten years ago on September 15th at around 6:45 p.m., right smack in the middle of the Dallas Cowboy football game. You must be thinking, "Wow, you must be a huge Cowboy fan!" Nah, but Charlie is, and I remember that I could hardly get him out of the car and away from the radio play by play.
This middle boy of mine was three days late and when he decided to show, he was in a big hurry. By the time I realized it was serious it was too late for the epidural.
"What?!"
"Sorry, we just don't have enough time for the bag of glucose to empty and the anethesiologist to get here."
"Charlie! Reach up there and squeeze that bag!"
But three pushes later, we were done.
He was a tougher baby. He didn't like his swing. He got colicky every afternoon till about 8:00. I would try everything...the walking, the bobbing, the rocking, the football hold, the tummy over the knees swing, the patting, and ultimately, the Daddy pass-off. Every night, like clockwork he would stop around eight. When John was a baby and he started moving his hands with excitement, he always looked like a conductor of a symphony. Melee' always looked like he was riding motorcycles. He's a boy's boy. He has his mom's temperament and freckled skin. He has his Dad's love of noise. He's grown up to be the easy one, and by virtue of his easy-ness, he sometimes gets the short end of the stick. He works hard in school and cares much about what we think. He currently has a passion for all things baseball and my birthday wish for him is that for the "fall ball" season, he gets to knock one all the way to the fence and that we all get to be there when he does. He deserves it, as does any ten year old boy who will let his Mom kiss him in front of the other boys.

*Melee' is ten, but this picture was from when he was five. That darned memory stick!

Adventures in Homeschooling the Prologue

As if I were not totally up in arms to begin with, the following conversation insued last night around the dinner table.

“So John,” I said, “What did your Counselor talk to you about the other day.” (As per my instructions, after our last conference.)

“She talked to me about my locker route and she agrees with me. I can take everything with me and not make a stop at my locker for now, later on, if I feel like I need to, she can help me find a time to stop.”

Irritated that the school counselor has decided it’s cool with her if he schleps all his stuff plus his lunch box around with him for eight hours, I said “Oh? What else did ya’ll talk about?”

“I told her how you want to homeschool me because you don’t think the teachers are doing their jobs.”

Me totally redfaced and choking on my cream gravy, “What?! I didn’t say that. Did you tell her I said that? I didn’t say that the teachers aren’t doing their jobs!”

“Yes you did. You said that you could do a better job than Ms. Krebs.”

“NO I DIDN’T! YOU DIDN’T SAY THAT TO THE COUNSELOR DID YOU?!”

I’m so totally screwed.

ORDER UP!

I'm not a sunny-side up girl. I don't roll out of bed whistling a tune, ready to meet the day. So things took a turn for the worse this morning, when the counselor called me at 7:00 to cancel my conference with John's teachers.

Last week when we made the appointment for this week, I was already stressing a little because now we're four weeks in to the school year. Turns out she had a sick kid today and had to stay home. Can't really fault her for that. She can't reschedule for next week because she's out of the office all week. So by the time I get to conference with the teachers, John will be holding his first report card.

It gets me seriously riled up.

Bad Momma says: "Homeschool. Just go down there and take him out of that damn public school! Bunch of paper-pushin', "too busy", no pencil-sharing, idiots."

Good Momma says: "Patience. He did fine on his progress report. Mrs. Reisenhoffer said he was a "hard worker". Haven't seen those two words in conjunction with John. Right? Patience."

Smack-talking Momma says: "Okay, maybe you're too dumb to homeschool him. Private School. You could go over to St. Edward's and have a look. A good Catholic education, just like you and Charlie."

Wimpy Momma says: "Um, I'll take a pass on that last comment. Even if you go over to St. Edward's, they're just gonna tell you what you want to hear, because they want your money. And you're currently driving all the money you've got."

Tough Momma says: "Oh if I could just get my hands on that Orchestra Teacher! Here you were, thinking this Viola was gonna be the answer to ALL your problems, and you heard what the private lesson teacher said...those pieces are too complicated for him. He's getting left behind in ORCHESTRA baby, now what you gonna do."

"Shut UP! Just SHUT UP! I'm gonna think of somethin', if you'll both just SHUT UP!"

My mind is sometimes a dark and scary place. I try not to let the girls go at it too often, I'm usually able to strike a happy medium, but today we are hard scrambled.

New and Improved

Now if only I had something to say!
Thanks Susie @ Bluebird Blogs!

September 11th

On September 11, 2001

I was standing in my living room in Forney Texas with the television tuned to Good Morning America. They broke into the broadcast with the news of an airplane hitting one of the Twin Towers in New York.

I thought for a moment that a small Cessna had hit the building. And as I stood there, trying to gain some kind of perspective, I watched the other airplane plunge into the side of the other building. Charlie had only been gone from the house for a few minutes and I called him immediately and he turned around and came home. John was already safely in his second grade classroom. Melee' who was then four, was occupied with breakfast and toys. And I continued to stand mesmerized in front of the television holding Peach, seven months old inside my tummy. Charlie came in and joined me and we watched horrified as the events of the morning played out across our television screen.

I cried a lot of tears that morning and in the days and weeks that followed. I said a lot of prayers. I didn't know anyone who was directly affected by this tragedy, that eventually affected us all. I can't for a moment pretend to understand the grief and the loss, it overwhelms me. I hope you'll join me today and read some stories honoring the people that lost their lives five years ago today. My friend Harmonica Man at View from the Cloud wrote a tribute to Denease Conely. It is a beautiful place to start.

And this post from my friend One Tall Mamma is a lovely way to end.

Grains of Gratitude

While doing some Blog Browsing today I came across this at Brady's Bunch via Big Blueberry Eyes and decided this would be a nice post for my Saggy Baggy Attitude today. It's a list of 5 things I'm thankful for.

1. Rain, which cancelled baseball practice and allowed us to have an entire weekend, together.

2. My Mom's chocolate birthday cake.

3. Another opportunity to try and sleep.

4. The paycheck that was supposed to be direct deposited on Friday, but because of an error would't get here till Monday, that came Saturday.

5. Family. The four that drive me crazy. The three that have moved right down the way. The one who is sleeping on my couch. The one who is on his way to Dallas for two weeks. The two that he'll take out to dinner when he gets there. The numerous ones I'm beating at fantasy football. :) The ones I married into. The ones who never email. :)

Yes, all in all, a saggy baggy list, but I was able to name five. That's a start.

Chevy Suburban, The Official Car of Babylon

Yep, we got a gigantic Suburban. One of the reasons I'm hesitant to drive it is because I'm afraid I'll look like a Babylonian. "Hey! Look at me! I've got a SUBURBAN! A NEW 2007 SUBURBAN! Nyeh, nyeh, nyeh nyeeh, nyeeeh!"

In my defense, when we went to go test drive them. The Salesman walked up, took a look at all the kids, and said "Wow! A family who really NEEDS one of these things." So there.

Number two in my defense, is that I tried to get Charlie to look at a Toyota Sienna. Really. I did. I kept showing him online, how great they were. Pointed out the gas mileage. And the price tag. But he wouldn't even test drive one. Well, he said if I just HAD to, he would go drive one, but it wasn't going to change his mind.

Third in my defense is that we got the LS, cloth seats, regular wheels, nothing blingy about it. Plus, I'll be driving it for ten years, so you guys will be runnin' around in some nice new something or other and I'll just be plodding along in my 8 year old dinged up kid hauler.

However, least you think I'm being a bit too defensive.


HEE- HEE, LOOK AT IT! CAN YOU BELIEVE IT?! IT'S SO SHINY AND NEW AND IT HAS NEW CAR SMELL INSTEAD OF OLD MILK SMELL! AND IT HAS AN ONSTAR BUTTON AND IF I GET INTO ANY KIND OF TROUBLE, ALL I HAVE TO DO IS PUNCH THAT LITTLE BUTTON AND PEOPLE WILL RUN TO MY AID! THE RADIO TELLS YOU THE NAME OF THE SONG AND THE ARTIST THAT SINGS IT. THE CAR TELLS YOU THE TIRE PRESSURE, HOW MUCH FURTHER YOU CAN GO WITH THE AMOUNT OF GAS YOU HAVE IN THE GAS TANK, WHAT KIND OF MILEAGE YOU'RE GETTING, WHAT THE TEMPERATURE OF YOUR TRANSMISSION IS, AND IT EMAILS YOU REPORTS! DID YOU HEAR THAT? IT EMAILS YOU REPORTS!

Charlie had to go out of town this week, and with my brother's trailer full of stuff in my driveway, I've just been driving my Mom's car. Wednesday after we moved all Krull's stuff to their house, I called Charlie and said "The trailer's gone ... now I can get out the Suburban and start driving it..." He said "YOU BETTER NOT! DON'T DRIVE IT WITHOUT ME!" Yesterday, Krull asked me to go shopping with him because he wanted to get a new T.V. for their house, so I said "I better bring my car, in case you buy something. You don't want it in the back of your truck." We got to the store and he ended up buying a 47" LCD t.v. that was so big it wouldn't fit in the back of my car! So we had to go back to his house and get the truck after all. On the way he called Charlie and said "Dude! I can't even get my T.V. in your fancy new car!" and I could hear Charlie yell "WHAT!? Ya'll better not be driving my new car!" and then he said "You don't need a T.V. that big!" After we got it loaded and were driving back to his house, we were stopped at a stop light and he said "Look! Those people are lookin' at us saying 'Wooo! Look at that T.V., it's the shee-ite!" and I couldn't help but giggle.

So maybe we're part Babylonian. But for the record, I wouldn't have bought a T.V. that big. He's just showin' off.

The Roundup

Perhaps you stopped by earlier and found my children had posted a first draft of my post 6 times.....
(Evidently some of you commented on those, and after I deleted them, I couldn't post your comments, woops!)

I have no time or energy for complete thoughts so ....

Fantasy Football - I GOT BEN ROETHLISBURGER BABY! Although I hear he just had his appendix out. But I also got Clinton Portis, Edgerin James, Drew Brees and Mike Vanderjagt. Pa-DOW! Go CRYBABIES!

Krull and Zoey and Zoey's Mom - Closed on their new house today and we went and emptied a full size U-haul truck with me, Krull, my Mom and Krull's wife. Two and a half hours. Who's your Momma?

John - Made an 80 on his Social Studies test that he didn't study for. I went and conferenced with the counselor today, all is looking good for now and we're conferencing with teachers next week to get them on board with my-way of thinking. Keep your fingers crossed. It's been my mission in life, since John was in Kindergarten, to get the schools to ban cut-and-paste for all age levels. I could be making headway.

Melee' - Starts fall baseball tomorrow with his usual team. This season he's a Diamondback.

We bought a new car last weekend and I'm too scared to drive it. I'm hoping Charlie puts the first ding on it so we can get this over with and I can feel free to do my thing. For now, it's daily wipedowns with old diapers and staring at it in the garage. Who knew three rows of seats was going to be scary.

Gotta go hit the showers, I smell, my new hairdo is ruined, and my back is starting to sing.

Additionally - MY DR. WILL WAS VOTED OFF AND I'M SO INCONSOLABLE. I DON'T EVEN WANT TO DISCUSS IT! JUST LEAVE ME ALONE! I MEAN IT! GO AWAY! (p.s. Survivor starts on the 14th :) )

I pledge allegiance to the inattentive and the lazy kids of America...

I nervously take a seat, I look around and shoot a tentative smile at the girl in the seat next to me. I know her, but she either doesn't recognize me or she doesn't like me. My mind always goes to the second option. Another girl in the class raises her hand and says, "Do you have an email address?" Mrs. Reisenhoffer cuts her off with a quick "Yes, I'll get to that in just a minute when everyone takes their seats." Crap, she's all business. I like a little humor with my Texas History. Everyone scurries to their seat as the tardy bell rings, and Mrs. starts her "Welcome to the class and these are my expectations ... " A minute passes and then she heads to her desk to pick up an example of the Texas History Interactive Notebook, and my heart sinks.

No, this isn't my recollection of my Texas History class, it's my son's Parent/Teacher night at the Intermediate School. After the announcement of another year of Interactive Notebooks, it was all downhill from there. The Interactive Notebook, you see, is a form of Cruel and Unusual Punishment for boys certainly, but for boys with ADD Inattentive Type in particular. The World History teacher last year, became my arch nemisis and it's not looking good for this year either.

This child of mine, you'd love him. He's great with adults. He's as smart as they come. He has a wicked sense of humor. I have pledged not to stay angry with him for the entire school year like I did last year. It's a pledge I don't know if I'll be able to uphold.

We get to Science where Ms. Carlie, who is young and really nice, starts off by saying that the thing they are really working on these first few weeks has been respect. Respect. R-E-S-P-E-C-T find out what it means to... ahem. Respect for each other, respect for themselves, respect for other peoples property. I look at the others sitting around me. Is my son in a class full of hooligans? Some suck-up Dad jumped up at the ring of the bell and introduced himself and thanked her for blah blah blah. I lagged behind being the shy kid and said "Um, Ms. Carlie? I'm John's mother. " She nods in recognition "That whole thing with the notebook tests?" She nods again and slowly closes her eyes, she already knows where I'm going. "Um, John has trouble with the organizational aspect. Can I bring him early for help with that, rather than the material?" "Yes. Sweet kid." she replies. Two down, two to go.

We get to Math and Mr. Smith is standing outside the door to greet us and shake our hands as we walk in the door. Definitely outside of the normal protocol. He starts his seven minute speech and in bops this chick with big blonde curly hair pulled off her face with a clip being perky and "Ohmygawd I'm sorry I'm late." chewing gum in her sparkly too tight "look at my titties" shirt and I may as well be back in junior high myself. GadZOOKS! Mr. Smith pauses only slightly before returning to his monotone "..the kids and I are adding and subtracting integers and yesterday we went out in the hall and walked the numberline. We walked up the numberline, and down the numberline as we added and subtracted integers. Then we came back in the room and I gave them blocks to stack as we added and subtracted integers." Crap! Is my kid in remedial math and nobody told me? Another glance around the room at the parents.

And lastly English. Finally somebody in my class that I know! I saved Chase a seat and we whispered about how exciting it was to be in class together. The teacher had good energy but was quick to explain that the kids were really in for it this year. Last year they had two class periods for English/Language Arts but this year they have to pack it all into one class time and our kids have it the last period of the day, when they're all tired and ready to go home. She started talking about how "I know you won't believe this, but some of your kids are going to tell you that they don't have any homework, but they're wrong. We have two vocab words everyday that we write down. They have to know the synonym and the antonym, how to use it in a sentence and the definition of the word. They should be bringing those home to look at everyday. They should already have about sixteen words." Chase had seen the look on my face and it's all she could do not to bust out laughing, and it's all I could do not to kick her shin under the desk. This shit's not funny!

I got home around 9:00 and went up to kiss the boys goodnight. "John, do you know you have a history test tomorrow?" "Yes." "Did you study?" "Mom. I know everything." "Did you read the chapter?" "Yes." "Did you do the study guide?" Pause. "Yes." (Can't look me in the eye.) "John? Did you finish the study guide? Don't lie to me." "Well, we didn't have time to finish it. (We) Mom! I know everything for the test." "Do you have your Science tabs set up? I don't remember signing her set-up guide." "You did, it had a fish on it." "Is it set up?" "Oh, I don't need to do that."

This would all be a lot easier if I could just go and do it for him. If it weren't for Orchestra, I'd homeschool him. Luckily the school is selling Otis Spunkmeyer Cookies this year. I'll be laying in my supply of Pity Party Peanut Butter and Gourmet Turtle Chocolate cookies. Because I'm nothing, if not supportive.